Sunday, December 24, 2017

Adrenaline Junkies....

I get it, the bigger the better. Its the way of our culture. If one is good, then 20 must be mind blowing...
In my athletic experience, 5k's are the gateway to the 10k, and then your finding yourself signing up for that half marathon... Sprint Triathlon to 70.3 Half Ironman... I don't think I'm alone with these thoughts, but I also know that others may not relate.
2008 at Tempe Town Lake
I've been there- done that- all the way through the Ironman to the 100 mile run... but where does it end? When will it all be enough?
If its not the distance, its a Personal Best. Speed and distance are interchangeable for me, for these "Natural Progressions". As options continue to grow in race distances, so do I in the desire to try and race faster than my previous PB. I often drift off in thought of how awesome a 3 hour marathon finish would be and of completing some of the worlds toughest endurance foot races... Boston in 2019, the Badwater 135, oooh...and the Moab 240...But would those be enough? Could I just mic drop and walk off?
2010 in Winfield
I get a huge sense of accomplishment from these event, and even more so the harder or tougher they are. Ironman was a 5 year plan for me. I raced my first Sprint Triathlon in 2001 and realized my dreams of an Ironman were possible at that awards lunch. "Anything Is Possible" is the Ironman mantra for a reason... But soon after these events I find myself still looking, still searching. That sense of completion and accomplishment doesn't end there, it leaves me wanting more.  But more of what?
This past summer, as I was completing one of the tougher events I've done, I found myself daydreaming of even tougher longer events. As I brought my mind back to the present moment, it got me thinking that I may never answer this question. This process will be as long as it needs to be to see the end.
I was recently asked what my best race is. My thought out answer is that my best race is in front of me. It hasn't happened yet. My best might be my next half marathon or 50 miler, or another one of my bucket list adventures.  When it happens, that best race is only a short lived moment as I will shoot for something even better, faster, farther...
It's that dangly carrot that I continue to chase...

The constant pursuit... 

Sunday, December 10, 2017

Onward and Upwards...

 * Updated 5.15.18*
It's been 18 months of sobriety and so much good has come from it! When I think about my drinking, I can't recall any good that had come from it... a couple fun times but mostly pain and struggles. This story below was the breaking point for me. I had known that I needed to change, but was waiting for a moment, an event to define the need for action. Boy did I get lucky.

Wow...
A year...
December 9th, 2016
...sometimes it feels like yesterday and a lifetime ago, both wrapped up in the same moment.

That night started like many of the nights before it. Dinner with the family in town, and drinks. Back to the house, and a few more drinks. I ride my bike to the neighbors, and drink more....
...and then its blank...

That's the routine. Sometimes a bit different, maybe the bar, or a party of sorts, some type of gathering, anything really. It wasn't that I needed a reason, I could find one.
...this time was different though...
This time I crash my bike and I'm hurt badly.
This time I need surgery to fix my drinking problem.
This time my face looks so bad that my girls are afraid of me.
This time somethings gotta change....

They say that hind sight is 20-20 and if I'm being truthful with myself, my drinking was out of control. It's hard to see clearly in the middle of the storm. This particular moment wasn't the first sign, but the straw...
I feel fortunate that this was my outcome, that I didn't hurt anyone else, physically. Like many of us, I have many more flaws to work through.Without alcohol to hide behind, its much easier to get moving in the right direction.
Sometimes you get an opportunity to look at a failure as a time to grow. This is that for me.

I tell people now that I broke my face, and quite literally I did. I broke a bad habit too...

Me and my Girls- post surgery