Reflections...

25 years ago...
The train windows flash the passing stations creating the effect that we're moving faster than reality...
The train car rattles and softly sways giving opposite sensations of complete loss of control and slight comfort. The rhythms collide and become hypnotic. It's midnight, or so...and I'm just trying to get to Port Authority. My heart is racing and my body is perspiring from my angst and the warmth of the subway platform. My mind has slowed...almost at ease, calm.  Hypnotic...

Colorado Trail...
The beam of light from my headlamp creates tunnel vision and at this point its entrancing. My peripherals are lost in the shadows and the overhead cover of the forest makes an even tighter squeeze of the night. It's midnight, or so...and I'm just trying to get to May Queen Aid.The trail falls with twists and turns, rocks and roots, making my pace both an uncontrolled stumble and something closer to running. My heart is in a race and racing, but my head is calm and focused. The rhythms collide and become hypnotic.

...and then it becomes familiar. I've felt this before...I've survived this before...and now I am reliving it. Totally different, but just the same. In this moment, I am both scared and invincible.

Tunnel Vision

These two moments couldn't be farther from each other.... The first is my recollection of  running wild in NYC. With my head full of cocaine I was riding the A Train out of Spanish Harlem.The second is mile 83 of the Leadville Trail 100. I am bombing down one of the tricky sections of trail racing the clock.

These addictions are similar in that I'm chasing the high and that my tolerances leave me wanting more, needing more. My mind is comfortable with the chaos and feels at ease while the world moves at a different rhythm. I love that section of trail even after 85 miles and I loved that train ride as much.

I no longer use those substances and choose to find my highs in sport and life. I am fortunate to have these as an outlet. My outcome could have been so much worse.

By no means am I promoting either of these as "healthy". These are just my experiences and how I see the similarities...

Midnight by Coldplay

Om Shanti...

Ganesha at the Denver Zoo

I often write about my trail adventures hence the name of this blog. As much as running has changed and shaped my life, I often see running as taking the drivers seat and all others forms of exercise falling to the trunk. I can talk...a lot...about running...

I was in a yoga class this past week and reflecting... reflecting on how long I've been practicing yoga. I cant actually remember when but I am sure my first class was well over fifteen years ago. I am sure I started because I was a stiff and tight triathlete and I thought that it might help. I remember thinking that I was just there for the physical properties of yoga and all the "Om" stuff was for those other..yogi's. 

It started just that innocently.
It was soon after those first few classes when I recall that one time... the one time that the "Om" actually vibrated... it actually vibrated my body... and my ears...and what seamed like the room!
It was only for a moment and I soon dismissed it as a fluke. I mean, that doesn't really happen... right?

Buddha at the Denver Aquarium

That one vibration...changed the why and how I practice yoga. Sure, there are the physical benefits to an active yoga practice. And sure I stay healthy as a runner and ward off injury when I practice on a regular basis....but those were not the main reasons anymore. I began to learn the translation of some Sanskrit words and feel  empowered by their meaning. I began buying books on yoga... and read and reread them. I sought out different types of practices and tried them. I started to hear the messages that were being passed along. I started to see the changes in my mindset. I was transforming...

...and so back to me reflecting in my sunrise yoga class...and how far I have come... and how the process has manifested into what it is at this current moment. It amazes me how things change, and recreate themselves, into something else entirely.
...And I sit there in my comfortable position thankful that I showed up that first day, and thankful for the encouragement of the practice, and... just thankful...Namaste